The Brace is Off

Because of my positive visit to the orthopedic doctor last week, I decided to stop wearing my brace completely, as of last Friday.  Things have gone pretty well!  I'm nervous about tripping or bumping into other people, but I figure I have to get over that fear sometime!  I'm experiencing a lot of pain and soreness, which is to be expected, since I'm now bending my knee with every step.  I went from 6 weeks of no bending, to constant bending.  It's quite a change!  I still have trouble with incline variations, and I will be forced to continue tackling stairs by putting both feet on each step and pushing up with my left only, for a while longer.  But, every day I will get a little stronger.

This morning I had my first physical therapy appointment.  I started off on a stationary bike with both feet on the pedals, but only pushing them up and down half-way, like a semi-circle.  I never did a full rotation.  Then I moved over to a table where I laid down with a cushion under my knee and the therapist attached two sensors to my thigh that would make my muscle twitch intermittently.  Each time it stimulated the muscle, I had to push my knee down into the cushion.  It felt weird, but it didn't really hurt.  After that, I went over to a leg press that had all the weight removed from it.  On a normal leg press, my body would be stationary and I'd push the weight away from me with outstretched legs, and then back towards me with bent legs.  On this one, however, when I pushed, my body moved back away from the weight plate.  I still ended up with outstretched legs and then bent legs, but there was basically no resistance.  I did that for a little while, and it wasn't too stressful either.  After that, the therapist gave me information on exercises I need to do at home.  I'll be going back for another session later this week, and then twice a week for the next three weeks.  I'm excited about getting back to normalcy, even if I am only on the first of many, many stages to come.       

Ortho Update

I went back to the orthopedic surgeon yesterday for another follow-up appointment.  They took more x-rays and things still look good.  I took the brace off and the doctor wanted to see if I could bend my leg.  He put his hand under my knee and raised up.  The initial movement hurt, but once it got past a certain point, it felt fine.  It really just felt like something stretching (which I'm sure is what my tendons were doing after having been kept in a compact position for the past two weeks).  I can't raise my knee up to bend my leg on my own power, but at least it's a good sign that it can be bent at all.  The doc told me I should try to lift my knee up periodically like that at home, just to give it some exercise and flexibility.  I feel okay with that, because it really doesn't hurt to do it, and I'd like to keep those muscles/tendons from atrophying.  I tried the exercise a couple times last night before I went to bed.......bad idea!  I woke up numerous times throughout the night in pain.  I guess it was a little too much stress on my kneecap. It's so deceiving that it feels fine at the time, but the pain hits you later!  I'll have to figure out the best time of the day to do those exercises, so that my sleep isn't affected.

In other news, I regained a little bit of my independence.  Mainly out of necessity, I figured out a way for me to drive myself.  It's not the most comfortable position in the car, and I have to use both feet on the pedals, but it will work for now.  It was starting to get impossible to coordinate my work schedule with Meezy's, and then throw in my weekly doctor visits on top of that.  It's a lot to ask of someone to disrupt their workday to bring me to an appointment.  I'm glad I'm a little less helpless now, but you can be damn sure I'm going to use my handicapped placard whenever possible! 

Kneecap Knews

This past Monday was my first day back to work since I fractured my kneecap.  It's a LOT of effort now to do things that were previously considered routine.  Just sitting at my desk is a chore, because it's hard to find a comfortable position.  I started out with an overturned trashcan as my leg rest, then moved on to a smaller cardboard box when the trashcan became uncomfortable, and have now settled on a small filing cabinet.  I have to switch positions every now and then, because the rest of my body gets really tired.  I'm pretty much leaning or carrying weight on the left side of my body at all times, so sometimes my left arm and hand shake.  Other times my left foot gets some shooting pain in it, because it's having to work overtime.  I think I've strained an upper abdomen muscle on my left side because I constantly have to reach across and lift my right leg to move it.  It feels like deadweight and is kinda heavy, for instance, when I have to raise it off the ground and put it on the bed or couch.  All of this is on top of the soreness I have in my hands and underarms from using crutches.  Have I mentioned how awesome this situation is?  Sigh.  This is only week one.

After work on Monday, I came home and was completely exhausted.  I went to bed early and planned on going through the same routine on Tuesday.  When I woke up that morning though, the pain was really bad in my knee. I got out of the shower and had to immediately lay down because of exhaustion and pain.  I laid on the ground for a few minutes, in tears, and decided I just couldn't go to work.  Of course I had also run out of pain medication, and my pharmacy didn't open until 9am.  It was not a great morning.  Meezy was a lifesaver and went to the pharmacy for me so I could get some relief.  He had to go to work after that, though, so I just laid in bed, waiting for the medication to kick in.  When it finally did, I was able to take a short nap.  Sleeping is my favorite now, since I don't feel pain during that time!  That afternoon, I had another appointment with the orthopedic surgeon.  Since I can't drive myself, and Meezy and my sister both had work meetings, my mom was nice enough to make the long drive up to get me and take me to the doctor.  Unfortunately we sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes before being seen, which means the entire ordeal with all driving time took about 4 hours of my mom's time.  (I feel so bad about that.  It was incredibly nice of her to take that much time out of her day for me, and I am very thankful)!  The doc said my patella is still sitting up where it should be on my knee, and the bones haven't moved at all, so he still recommends just using the rigid brace instead of having surgery.  I'm now set up to come back weekly for x-rays to verify this is still the case, and in a couple weeks they'll also start evaluating whether I can bend or not.  I'm not looking forward to that!

After my mom dropped me back off at home, my sister arrived a short while later with dinner.  Two other friends, Rebecca and Mike, also arrived to bring me a present.  My supper club, "The Bacon Gang," had all chipped in and gotten me silly gifts to use in decorating my brace and crutches.  Since I'll be very closely acquainted with those items for the next 6-8 weeks, they thought it would be funny to "bedazzle" them.  I look forward to putting on my fancy stickers over the holiday break.  LOL.  It was really cute of them to get that gift for me, and it brought a smile to my face for a change!  After they left, my sister began cleaning my house and getting it ready for the Thanksgiving lunch I'll be hosting tomorrow.  She arranged all the extra tables and chairs for me, cleaned multiple rooms, did my dishes, and pretty much got my place looking perfect and ready for company.  I was incredibly grateful for her help, because if I had attempted to perform all of those tasks on crutches, it would've taken me many, many hours.  I am so very lucky for the wonderful friends and family that I am surrounded by.  Happy Thanksgiving! 

Good News, I Guess

I've never been great at handling pain medication, and this situation has proven to be no different.  I can't stand the pain of my fractured patella, but I also don't like feeling nauseated and weak all the time.  I have to take the pills on a full stomach to avoid that, but I can't eat every 4 hours!  This morning I took a pill and ate some cereal, but it still wasn't enough to make me feel confident enough in taking a shower.  I get weak when I stand up for too long while taking this medication, and I figured that adding in the effects of hot water would most likely lead to fainting.  I can't bend my knee at all, and there's not enough room for me to sit with the shower door closed, while my leg is extended.  I found a solution to getting myself clean, and let's just say it was quite creative. (The floor outside the shower got a tad bit wet).

After that ordeal, which I'll unfortunately have to go through daily for the next few weeks, Meezy drove me to the orthopedic surgeon's office.  They took some more x-rays to see if anything had changed since Wednesday night. They showed me the fracture, which was like a horizontal line through the middle of the patella.  The two pieces didn't move far apart, so the surgeon told me he didn't recommend surgery.  He believes the pieces can fuse back together on their own if my leg is kept immobilized for a few weeks.  They fitted me with a brace that has rods on either side to keep my leg stiff.  My knee can't move right now, because they have it locked down.  As more time passes, they can release the tension and set the angle of the rods so that they are able to bend some.  I have no desire for that to happen anytime soon, since the little bending I've done so far has been excruciating!  I still can't put weight on that leg, even with the brace on, so I'm stuck with crutches for a while.  It's been hard getting used to it, but I know it'll get easier.  Just imagine not being able to sit regularly on your couch, in your car, in a chair, etc.  My leg always has to remain completely straight.  I'm going back to the surgeon next week to make sure the healing has started and to verify that surgery still isn't necessary.

I know this isn't anything I can't handle, but I'm really upset at how much it has ruined my plans for the next couple of months.  No more flag football, no tennis playoffs, no half-marathon, no Big D Climb, and probably no Warrior Dash.  If you know me, you know how much my life revolves around sports and athletic endeavors.  To say I'm disappointed is an understatement.  I'm not one to be content with coming home and sitting on the couch every day.  I'm an active person, always looking to do things on my feet.  That won't be happening again for a while.  Sigh.  Here's my setup for the next couple of months:

 Notice the lack of definition in the right knee since it's still super swollen.  :(

Life Changes Fast

I had a moment in my flag football game last night that, despite happening in a matter of seconds, will affect me for at least the next 4-6 months, and possibly longer.  I was running a route, looked back to the quarterback to receive the pass, and collided knee to knee with a defender.  He was standing still, and I was at medium speed.  I immediately dropped to the ground and felt shooting pain coming from my knee.  I sat on the ground for a minute, trying to see if I could bend my leg and work it out a little bit.  It hurt like hell, but I got up and tried to continue.  I play on a co-ed team with a bunch of pretty tough folks, so I let them convince me it was just a "stinger."  As soon as I put weight on it to run, I knew something was very wrong.  I tried as hard as I could to stay in for a couple more plays, but finally I swallowed my pride and told them I needed to sit out.  Luckily another girl showed up right then, and she took my spot on the field.  I sat on the ground for the rest of the game since it hurt to put any weight on my leg.  Afterwards, I hobbled over to my car and cried once I got inside.  It was excruciating.  Since I was by myself, I had to suck it up and drive home through the pain.  Once I got home, I hopped inside and went immediately to the couch.  Laying there with my leg extended straight out, the pain was manageable.  My knee started swelling up pretty badly though, and it definitely wasn't looking right.  At one point I had to use the restroom, so I hobbled there and sat down.  Bending my knee was the worst pain I've ever felt.  Luckily it was only my doggles in earshot, because I yelled out some choice words.  I went back to the couch and started getting worried about what was really wrong. 

Once Meezy got home, we decided we'd call my doctor first thing in the morning and try to set up an appointment.  I had to use the restroom again, and this turned out to be the last straw.  I couldn't handle the pain and I yelled out in agony.  I was bawling by this point.  Meezy knew there was no way I would make it until the next morning.  It was after midnight, but we headed out to the hospital.  I had to scoot myself into the back seat with my leg extended.  The drive to the ER felt like forever!  Once I got there, the admission process was fairly quick though, and I made it back to a room before too long.  Without moving at all, there was throbbing pain, and I couldn't twist or bend my leg in any way without it being immensely worse.  They gave me a morphine shot, and I tried to wait patiently for it to kick in.  After the shot, they wheeled me into x-ray.  They took a few films and the tech told me he was pretty sure he could see the problem, but he would let the nurse or doctor give me the prognosis. 

After thirty minutes, the nurse came in and gave me the news: I had fractured my patella and it was currently in a couple of pieces.  I immediately felt sick to my stomach.  I wanted to vomit just thinking about that bone being broken.  She told me that surgery was probably necessary, and I'd have to set up an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon to go over my options.  Great.  They gave me a brace to keep my knee immobilized, and sent me home with a prescription for pain medication.  It was 3:30am by the time we got home.  I set my alarm for 8:30am the next morning, when the surgeon's office opened.  Turns out I only made it to 7am before the pain became unbearable again.  I took a pain pill, but it didn't help much.  I laid in bed uncomfortably for the next hour and a half.  It sucks to have to lay on my back with my leg extended, when I'm used to being a side sleeper with my legs bent.  Bleh. 

When I got ahold of the surgeon's office, they told me they couldn't see me until Friday morning.  Bummer.  I have spent all of today (Thursday) either in bed or on the couch.  It's frustrating.  The pain medicine isn't really taking away the pain, but it is making me sleepy.  So, at least I'm avoiding the pain some of the time by just being asleep!  It's really weird that my leg feels like it weighs a hundred pounds.  When raising your leg, the power comes from your knee.  I have no ability to generate any power there right now, so it's not possible for me to move it. When I try to change positions, I have to use both of my arms to pick it up and manually move it.  Awesome.  I hope this night goes by quickly and my appointment goes well tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous about what they're going to tell me, but I'm just hoping that whatever their recommendation is, we start it immediately.  I think all the options involve some sort of cast or stint for 4-6 weeks, followed by rehab for a few months.  We'll see. 

Here's a pic I took right after I got home from the game last night.  This was before I realized the extent of the injury.  One of those knees is not like the other!  Hopefully I'll get to view the actual x-ray pics tomorrow, if my stomach can handle it!