Don't worry, you'll get that title phrase stuck in your head too before this post is over with. This past weekend we floated the Comal River in New Braunfels with a group of friends. Jer and I had never done this before, so we were excited to join. Our friend, Rachel, rented a vacation house for the 11 of us to stay in. On Saturday, we headed over to Landa Falls to get our tubes and get on the river! Besides your personal tube, you could rent tubes with a bottom, that held a cooler, to make sure you had beverages while floating. We had three of those for our group, so everyone had to keep an eye on them. That wasn't too difficult since the river was a pretty lazy one, and we were all trying to stay connected to each other anyway. But, we had no idea this one area you have to go through, called the tube chute, would give us so much trouble. We thought the whole route would be a leisurely one, until we arrived at the chute and saw what looked like a ride at an amusement park! It was a fast-moving, choppy section that ended with a pretty big splash. The current at the end of it was pretty strong, so it pushed you in a certain direction against your will. Our friend, Todd, was in charge of one of the cooler tubes and it got away from him during the chute. He was carried away with the current, but the tube with the cooler on it was sent in another direction to calmer waters! We could all see it, but were pretty helpless to do anything about it. As Jer and I started making our way over to rescue it, some random guy noticed the cooler, swam over to it, and get this - opened it and grabbed a beer! Can you believe that? What a db. We started yelling at him, since he grabbed the tube and was apparently just going to keep it, along with the stocked cooler, for himself. We finally got his attention, and made it clear that that was NOT his cooler. We tried to get over there as fast as we could and pry it from his trashy little hands. Stay classy, folks!
After Jer grabbed the tube with the cooler on it and attempted to make his way back to the rest of the group, I tried to follow suit. We had to pass through the exit area of the tube chute again, which meant the water was pretty choppy and hard to navigate. A kind of whirlpool had been created, and once you got sucked into it, you had no control over where it took you. I swear I entered that area three times, trying to make it to the other side, and kept getting brought right back to where I started. It was pretty comical. On my last attempt, I felt the string on my bikini bottoms brushing against my leg, lower down than I'm used to it reaching, which got my attention. Yep, sure enough my bottoms had become untied. Here I am, holding together my bottoms with one hand, frantically trying to paddle with my other hand, all the while falling victim to an inescapable whirlpool. If it wasn't so funny, I could've cried.
After I fixed my wardrobe malfunction and managed to get over to the side of the river and climb out, I decided to walk along it a ways and just completely bypass the "whirlpool of futility." My friends were waiting on the other side, so I joined back up with them. The rest of the float was much less eventful!
After we had a chance to clean up from the day's activities, we headed out to dinner at Gristmill. We met up with some other friends that happened to be in New Braunfels that weekend, which brought our total to 13. Hmmm....dinner with a group of 13 on a Saturday night....surely that's no problem! Haha. We knew we would be in for a wait, but after 2 hours, we were reaching our tolerance level! Jer went up to the hostess to inquire about our position on the list, and she informed him that she had no record of our group. What. The. Fudge. We know she wrote it down upon our arrival, so I guess they just completely lost that page of the waiting list! That's highly plausible considering there were hundreds of people waiting for tables. Hundreds! No lie; I'm not exaggerating. I've never seen a situation like that in my life!
Jer laid the smack down and they put us next on the list. Another friend, Ryan, negotiated free drinks and appetizers for us. Not too shabby. We ended up having a great meal and a really fun time, but it was definitely the longest dinner experience I've ever been a part of! We were pretty beat down after that 4-hour dinner, so we headed back to the house for the night. The guys in the group needed something at CVS, so they made a little road trip. I'm not sure what they originally intended to purchase, but somehow they ended up with like 7 singing fish. You know, the fake mounted fish plaques that sing a stupid song when you walk by? Yeah, those. We were all curious why they purchased them, and the response was, "They were only $2!" That deal was apparently so incredible, that they even convinced a few people in line behind them at CVS to also purchase the fish. Hilarious. Men are definitely from Mars.
I brought Jer's fish home yesterday and introduced it to Juneau. Make sure your sound is on (you might need to turn it up louder), so you can experience the extent of the awesomeness. Juneau wants that filet 'o fish!