Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wait, you want me to do what?

So a group of us went to the State Fair this past weekend. As we were walking by one of the exhibit buildings, we saw a sign out front advertising pig races. We checked our watches and there was one happening in just a few minutes. Score! Having never seen a pig race before, I thought this would be hilarious. I also think little piggies are like the cutest, funniest things on Earth, so that was motivation as well. The six of us took our seats in the stands and watched as the crowd grew around us. As we're waiting for showtime, Jer and I noticed a guy in overalls walking around talking to some of the crowd members. We figured he was associated with the show, so we tried to see what he was doing. Jer goes, "Oh, it looks like he's asking for volunteers." I'm like, "For what?" Jer responds, "Probably to stand around the track and cheer on the pigs and make sure they stay on the course." Cool!! I thought it would be fun if we all volunteered, so I got the guy's attention and waved him over. He confirms he's looking for volunteers, but only needs one person from our group. Hmmmm. I guess that would be me. So I agree to volunteer and give him my name. Here are his instructions to me: "I'll introduce the race and talk about the pigs for a little bit. Then I'll call out your name and the other three volunteers' names and I'll need you to come down on the track and grab the blue pom poms. You'll be the cheerleader for this section." Umm, what? Before I can take back my decision to volunteer, he walks away. Oh my gosh. This is going to be embarrassing. I sit back down and relay the information to my group. They, of course, find it hilarious. There are still a few minutes to showtime, so I sit there trying to convince myself that it won't be that bad. At the same time I'm watching the overalls guy make his way through the rest of the crowd to see who the other volunteers are. I see him talking to a 10 year old boy. Hmm. Then I see him talking to an 8 year old girl. Hmm. Basically the other volunteers are children. Awesome. So the show starts, he calls my name, and I make my way down onto the field. I pick up my pom poms and take my place around one of the corners of the track. He goes around to each volunteer and explains what part of the crowd we are responsible for. We're supposed to shake our pom poms and get our cheering section excited about our pig. I'm cheering for Pig #3, by the way. So we're told the more we shake, the more our section of the crowd will get excited, and the faster our pig will run. Obviously I know it won't work that way, but I figure, what the heck? I'll shake my darndest so at least the crowd gets excited. So we do a trial run with each volunteer. #1 goes and her crowd cheers. #2 goes and his crowd cheers. The overalls guy comes over to me and says, "Let's hear it for pig #3!" That's my cue, so I get to shaking. I turn around and shake my butt towards the crowd to get some laughs, and over the microphone the guy says, "This is a family show." Geez! As if I wasn't embarassed enough already. So #4 has her trial run after me and we're ready for the races. I have to suffer through three pig races, doing my best to cheer excitedly during each one. My pig actually won one time, so I guess that made it worth it??? Either way, I was very ready to get off that field so all eyes wouldn't be on me anymore. Finally the show was over and I received my prize for volunteering....a pink stuffed pig.

2 comments:

Meezy said...

yeah, notice the little 8 year old boy in the background. that was the age of everyone else. glad it wasn't me. of course who is at the fair? retards, drunks, and people you will never see again.

mrhaydel said...

You conveniently left out the part about you trying to turn the race into an X rated one last night at dinner.

While Jeremiah's right, in that you'll probably never seen anyone else from there ever again, these pictures, and this post, will live on the intarwebs...

(in Sandlot voice) Forrrrrr. Evvvvv. Errrrr. Forrrrr. Evvvvv. Errrrr...