Sunday, June 29, 2008
In my experience, it seems that people think that getting married is the immediate precursor to having babies. I can't tell you how many times Jer & I have been asked when we're going to have a kid....and we've only been married for two years!! While having and raising a child is certainly a marvelous and incredible experience, it doesn't have to happen before the ink dries on the marriage license. Whatever happened to enjoying being a couple? Going out to dinner whenever you feel like it, sleeping in on Saturdays, playing in a sand volleyball league together, catching a midnight movie, taking a last-minute vacation, splurging on a barbecue grill in preparation for summer fun. That's what young married couples should do! I'm 25 years old and Jer is 26, but for some reason people think that we shouldn't wait too much longer. My mother was 33 when she had me, and I think things turned out pretty well. If we don't plan on having a lot of kids, why should we start now? I know my friends that have kids, or are about to have kids, would want to sell me on all the joys of parenting, but honestly it's not going to happen right now. I imagine they'd say something to the effect of, "But it's so much fun. You'll go through all these wonderful experiences and have all these incredible emotions, etc." That's great, and I totally understand it, but you really have to admit that you're giving up a lot of freedom to gain that experience. Once you have a kid, you're not free to do a lot of the things you could do before. Jer and I are using this time to have as much fun as possible. We buy what we want, go where we want, and do what we want....when we want to. Can young parents say that? It's their prerogative to start a family at this age, but it doesn't have to be mine! I fear that there are comments made like, "I can't believe they don't want to have kids." What makes you think we don't want to have kids just because I'm not popping one out right now?? Just realize that everyone has their own timetable, and we much prefer being husband and wife and not father and mother right now. I'm sure a lot of people think we're selfish, but I think that trying to do as much as we can before there comes the time that we might not be able to, is a pretty smart idea. And believe this, if we had a kid right now, or were pregnant, there's no way we'd have as much real estate as we do, or as much money in savings as we do. When I have a kid, I want to make sure the future looks very bright, and that my kid won't have to end up footing the bill for my care later in life. If we put off having children a while longer, we'll have a much more secure future. And, we won't be struggling to make ends meet because of the large increase in bills that comes along with child-rearing. Plus, we might be able to make our child's life a lot more enjoyable. What's cooler than that?